If something isn’t working out for you, can you think of any reasons why this might not be? Are you trying to hold onto something that isn’t good for you?
Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.
H. Stanley Judd
You know what ‘FAILING’ stands for? It stands for ‘Finding An Important Lesson, Inviting Needed Growth.’
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
Robert F. Kennedy
These past few months I have been thinking about the concept of failure. What is it about this “f word” that makes people quiver like a bowl of jello when contemplating the possibility of failing? Instead of quivering, we are going to view failure as an opportunity that is both freeing and exhilarating.
Per The FreeDictonary, the definition of fail is:
- To prove deficient or lacking; perform ineffectively or inadequately.
- To be unsuccessful.
- To decline, as in strength or effectiveness.
After reading the definitions above, I am not surprised that most people will do whatever it takes in order to not fail. It’s important that you reaaallly understand what failing is. Instead of feeling ashamed and believing that you are deficient or lacking in intelligence, skills, motivation…Stop, I’ve heard enough! It’s time to view failing from a positive perspective.
OK, I’ll admit that failing sucks. Most people don’t want to fail and I am certainly one of them. However, I have learned that failing can be amazing. Huh?
Below are a few thoughts relating to how failing can help you succeed:
Failing allows you to learn what doesn’t work. When Thomas Edison was working on inventing the electric light bulb, he didn’t get it right the first time. He made adjustments to the experiment and tried and tried and tried. He learned from every experiment and when it failed he readjusted and kept learning. Finding a way that wouldn’t work brought him closer to what would work. Hooray!
Failing provides you with opportunities to grow and evolve. Perhaps you have broken up with your significant other, your marriage may have ended, and you feel like your world has come to an end; you will never be happy again. You believe that you have failed but you have not. What you do have is an opportunity to leave your comfort zone, expand your horizon, and set sail for a new life that will enable you to have experiences that will ultimately bring you much happiness. Wahoo!
It gives you opportunities to make mistakes which helps you get closer to your goal. I’m going to use the example of dating and finding your Prince Charming. There may be qualities you’d like your P.C. to have; you may have even created a list noting every desired quality. After sampling the inventory (giggles) and going out on numerous dates, you realize that what you perceived to be the perfect guy, is in fact not. Now it’s time to modify that list and begin dating with a fresh perspective. So much fun!
When you realize that your failures are nothing more than lessons to be learned, you should be willing to take more risks and be more adventurous. See your failures as successes because they are merely twigs directing you towards your true path.
What you view as losing is actually winning and each so called failure gets you closer to your goal. Now determine what you want to do and release any fear of failure. Remember, when you make mistakes and fail there are lessons to be learned.
Learn those lessons so well that you never repeat them. When you view your mistakes and failures as opportunities, your attitude changes because you know that you are moving towards your success. Now go ahead, be fearless and fail.
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When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.
What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.
Today is Thanksgiving and many of us are gathering with family and friends to celebrate the holiday. It is usually on this day that we count our blessings and think about what we are thankful for. You may have a family tradition, when sitting around the dining room table, each family member states what he or she is thankful for.
When you are being thankful or expressing gratitude it promotes positive emotion. Has your heart ever been touched because someone told you how appreciated you were?Think about this… Can you be sad, angry, upset, or jealous when you are thinking about all of the things in your life that you are grateful for? Initially I was going to say “Of course you can’t!” However, I will temper that statement and say that it does make you feel better when you express gratitude.
I know, you may be going through a rough period right now and are wondering what it is that you should be grateful for. You may have lost your job, your significant other was sleeping with your best friend, you’ve gained 30 pounds, AND you burned the turkey. I could go on and on with these unanticipated life changing events; but I won’t.
Instead of thinking about what you lost or don’t have, think about what you do have. I am not only talking about the material things in your world but also the sights, the sounds, the people and experiences that you may take for granted.
Below is an example of some of the things that I am grateful for:
- My children, Karen and Neil. My sister Sheila. My family.
- My mom and dad who have passed on but I know they are with me in spirit and will live in my heart forever.
- The wonderful opportunities and people I’ve encountered while working in my chosen profession.
- Traveling to places that I never thought I would visit. I would have to say that traveling is one of my passions.
- My good health.
- The motivation and energy that enables me to get up 4:30am to work out at Retro Fitness.
There are other items I could add to my list but I am going to stop now. I want you to feel happy, raise your vibration, and appreciate the life you are living. When you apprecate the positive experiences in your life, it enables you to celebrate today. It let’s you savor the present moment.
Since there is no time like the present, now is the perfect time to create your own gratitude list and/or journal. It’s simple. You begin by writing down a few things you are grateful for. If you are maintaining a journal, begin this task daily and write down one thing you are grateful for. Your gratitude could range from a salary increase to your dog licking your face.
Thanksgiving is the beginning of the holiday season when gratitude touches our lives and we are glad to help others. Let’s not only help others, but help ourselves. Be grateful, appreciate the abundance of good in your life, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
To learn more about gratitude click: http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/Instructions-on-Gratitude
“We’re asking you to trust in the Well-being. In optimism there is magic. In pessimism there is nothing. In positive expectation there is thrill and success. In pessimism or awareness of what is not wanted, there is nothing. What you’re wanting to do is redefine your relationship with the Stream. We do not ask you to look at something that is black and call it white. We do not ask you to see something that is not as you want it to be and pretend that it is. What we ask you to do is practice moving your gaze. Practice changing your perspective. Practice talking to different people. Practice going to new places. Practice sifting through the data for the things that feel like you want to feel and using those things to cause you to feel a familiar place. In other words, we want you to feel familiar in your joy. Familiar in your positive expectation, familiar in your knowing that all is well, because this Universe will knock itself out giving you evidence of that Well-being once you find that place. We have enjoyed this interaction immensely. There is great love here for you. We are complete.”
Since I believe it’s time to have a heart to heart conversation with you, I am writing a letter to self. I know that you have been hurt by people you cared about and also by people you didn’t care about at all. People disappointed you and you also felt that you disappointed yourself. You thought your life would turn out one way and boy did it ever surprise you.
I know that you have worked hard in both your professional and personal life and you should feel proud of yourself. You wanted to be a good wife , a loving mother, and a conscientious employee and you were. You haven’t heard this often, but I want to tell you that “I am proud of you!”
I know these past few years have not been easy for you. To name two major challenges you had to overcome were your divorce after 30+ years of marriage and a recent termination from a job that you worked at for 10+ years.
I am sure your heart felt like it was broken into one million pieces. Perhaps it felt like someone took a hammer and literally smashed it. I am happy to say that I think the shattered pieces are slowly coming together and you are in the process of healing; your pain is diminishing.
I know that sometimes you ache when someone doesn’t treat you the way you believe you should be treated. You are a person who deserves to be treated with respect, kindness, caring, and love. Yes, I said love! I know that it’s scary to open your heart again and seek out people who will accept you for who you are.
I know that sometimes rejection hurts. However, when you realize that the person who rejected you wasn’t meant to be in your life anyway it makes it easier to accept. I know that sometimes you feel so alone and miss having that one special person who “has your back”. Please realize that you are not alone and there are people who love you and maybe there are even a few people who like you.
You need to be less critical of yourself and like who you are. Heck, love who you are! You need to believe that you are deserving of everything good. You are deserving of love, happiness, health, and prosperity. You are even deserving of a hot, sexy, sixty year old companion! Is that an oxymoron?
Know that you are good enough. Yes, you heard me, I said good enough. You are kind, intelligent, loving, and willing to give of self.
OK, maybe you’re not the typical woman; maybe you don’t like to cook and if I was going to revisit your cooking mishaps there would be way too many to list. However, you are a person who enjoys working, learning, and achieving your personal and professional goals. And own the fact that you are a person who definitely does not enjoy cooking. These are some of the characteristics that make you unique. Why would you ever want to be typical or ordinary?
The current path that you are on is not typical or ordinary but it is the correct path for you at this point in time. I realize that sometimes this is difficult to believe especially when you are experiencing challenging situations. I am sure there have been times when you’ve asked yourself “what did I do to deserve this”?
Remember that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. I recognize that you may wonder how did you ever get on this road? Did your internal GPS steer you wrong? When is it going to say “recalculate”?
Perhaps your road contained a few speed bumps that you’ve driven over and even one or two massive potholes. At times, the road of life is not a smooth one. Five years from now when you look back on your journey, you will realize that those bumps in the road helped you grow, leave your comfort zone, and begin anew.
Those unanticipated, life changing experiences have made you stronger, more resilient, and more confident because you realize that you can cope with the various situations that you are faced with.
Life is about contrast; happy and sad, sickness and health, heartache and love. If you didn’t experience sadness, you wouldn’t fully experience and appreciate those moments of sheer joy. Be grateful for every single moment because there is meaning in it all.
Wishing you happiness, health, and love!
P.S. Would it be worthwhile for you, the reader, to write a letter to yourself? What would it say?